Im at strip club and am horny
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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