you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
