the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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