ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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