We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
