That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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