Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize