hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am midnight drunk by noon
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
