Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
