i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
