This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
