i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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