Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
