Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
