You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
