Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
