If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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