My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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