He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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