And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
