I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
