I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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