So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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