Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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