What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
