doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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