dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
