apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
