Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
