my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
