Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize