Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

(865): View more from Tennessee

the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

(865): View more from Tennessee

this medicine is soooo good.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.

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(206): View more from Washington

If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.

(253): View more from Washington

Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.

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