theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
