just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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