dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
