At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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