you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
