Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
