I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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