Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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