Im at strip club and am horny
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
