Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
