His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
