Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
