Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
