i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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