Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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