we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
