You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
