You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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