It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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