My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
