I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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