office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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