his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
