I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
