you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
