i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
