I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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