that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
