And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
